Friday, February 20, 2015

Not good enough!!

"I am no good" its a feeling so humbling and sometime depressing, it gives a dent to your confidence. This realization is shattering.

Most of us feel it one way or other. Different techniques to overcome it. I mean whats the alternative, you can't keep sad or depressed. It's not that you won't, It's just that its virtually impossible to remain depressed all the time.

So what I am not good at ? I don't know. Maybe I am not good at anything.

What was my mistake honey? What I did wrong to deserve this? Is this what I ought to have. You didnt even let me love you. And it would be wrong to say I didnt.

How weak I feel against this. For the first time in my life I tried not to be selfish but maybe I was not good at it. I was honest and truthful and maybe that was a mistake. It gave an impression that I am too plain and boring.

I am broken and feeling very sleepy. Not even be able to open my eyes.there are feelings for which there are no words. And even if I try with words whats the point? I am no good.

Love is a mistake, it can't be prevented

I sometime feels that if you love someone and it cant be fulfilled you eventually start to hate yourself.

I saw you crying and you will never.  

Saturday, February 14, 2015

single thread

Kejriwal won the election with landslide margin, There is concerns over rising religious intolerance in India.

But my post is not about politics, It's about me feeling worthless on valentine day once again.

As it turns out Valentines Day is specially brutal on single boys and girls, they are forced to do an introspection as what's wrong with them even though there might be nothing wrong.

In loneliness you need to answer yourself for the reason of loneliness. Often single guys says they are happy single and same with girls. I don't know maybe they are but to me it sounds like sour grapes. I don't mean to say they are saying sour grapes when grapes are sweeter, what I mean is they are saying sour grapes because they haven't it. In reality maybe grapes are really sour.

I am unhappy as single. I never have been in relationship for long, couple of time I had small stints and all of them resulted in painful aftermath. It's tough to maintain relationship and it's boring to remain single. Choose wisely. but as far as I am concerned beggars can't be choosers.

I have almost come to believe that I am not as good a person as I think I am, maybe I am horrible. But why? just because no person of opposite gender fancies me or finds me attractive. Is it a correct parameter to judge if I am good or bad?

I know I am sounding pessimistic perhaps more than usual. But whatever it is show must go on. When you are sad, you realize that it's a matter of choice and you can be happy instead of sad too. positive energy and shit like that which motivational speaker talks about.

I guess a lot of boys and girls are single because they don't compromise. Being  a little flexible is not a sign of weakness, in fact things which are inflexible are more likely to break under strain.

I am hurt, but I would be alright. Life ahead seems rather bleak and so messy that I give up looking and think lets take a day at a time.


 Writing this much is making me feel sleepy, Oh some good news after all.